2017
I sit in front of the mirror
wonder how to describe 2017
what comes to mind is courage
God has given me a gift
it has brougt me so far
poems had deep feelings
maybe words masked pain
thinking I am Charlie
need advice from Lucy
on how to truly live
One poem aptly named
a 12:2 blog was my courage
"Gilded Living" published quietly
hoping this is the life
instead it was simpler
posting on my own blog
loving words differently
ability to hear encouragement
learned to take it with grace
became a role model
passion projects worked on
and people loved me for it
my words ever so important
3 days of work and voila
my testimony was born
it felt so hard to write
As my baptism paper emailed
quick nerves, happy tears
my friend Melissa alongside
"you can do this breathe"
believe in yourself
walking out of the water
a new woman this summer
having courage to share online
a post so toughfor me
not many people knew
they made me feel normal
when I felt out of place
God said to me get out of
your comfort zone
try new things and smile
read poem out loud at 12:2
go to alive at five and
get a free meet and greet
a photo reminds me to be bold
bold enough to join womens group
women to relate to
bold to go to church on sundays
making a journey of it
such a positive change of pace
saying yes to friends, God
grateful to have Zalooms invite me
sundays are more amazing
through a few sudden deaths
sickness turns to triumph
baby girl made lives brighter
new beginnings outside
with a greater appreciation inside
im a little better
and hope to be amazing in 2018
Sunday, December 17, 2017
An amazing star
Today in church Pastor Rex talked about Joseph and Mary. I wrote this poem before today. It puts into perspective how important Jesus was to people back then.
An amazing star
Mary and Joseph stood lost
ready for baby Jesus
walk around towns nearby
hope for warmth that night
when inn had no vacancy
good shepards watched sheep
saw weary travelers smile
and thought of compassion
kind heart to offer shelter
inside a stable yonder
He said you can stay here
gracious guests said yes
this is Gods son just born
Angel Gabriel bless me
trust to be a mother
most important kid around
He was wrapped in cloth
placed gently on the hay
the night wore slowly
word spread all over
people came by as fans
donkeys,sheep,horses protecy
the angels brought peace
His second year came
gifts were laid by His bed
for three wise men appeared
Gold was very first posession
making it known,He was king
frankinsence held close
a role of a worldly priest
myrrh last drops of holiness
blanket of stars hugs earth night
they stand out on clear night
look up to see there compass
rooted in Bethlehem
a new star crowned a king
born on Christmas day
An amazing star
Mary and Joseph stood lost
ready for baby Jesus
walk around towns nearby
hope for warmth that night
when inn had no vacancy
good shepards watched sheep
saw weary travelers smile
and thought of compassion
kind heart to offer shelter
inside a stable yonder
He said you can stay here
gracious guests said yes
this is Gods son just born
Angel Gabriel bless me
trust to be a mother
most important kid around
He was wrapped in cloth
placed gently on the hay
the night wore slowly
word spread all over
people came by as fans
donkeys,sheep,horses protecy
the angels brought peace
His second year came
gifts were laid by His bed
for three wise men appeared
Gold was very first posession
making it known,He was king
frankinsence held close
a role of a worldly priest
myrrh last drops of holiness
blanket of stars hugs earth night
they stand out on clear night
look up to see there compass
rooted in Bethlehem
a new star crowned a king
born on Christmas day
Sunday, December 3, 2017
Winning
Winning...is
getting somewhere relaxed
going to bed proud of todays self
actually feeling sadness and happiness
writing a piece and not wanting to rip it up
seeing progress in my work
dropping my high standards off a cliff
being positive about my apperance
not letting my anxiety control my actions
being vulnurable in my writing
not wanting to please the masses
saying and feeling confident
allowing myself to mess up
not comparing myself to my younger years
staying positive about my creativity
the ability to not opinions of others influence me
not letting small details halt progress
What is your definition of winning?
getting somewhere relaxed
going to bed proud of todays self
actually feeling sadness and happiness
writing a piece and not wanting to rip it up
seeing progress in my work
dropping my high standards off a cliff
being positive about my apperance
not letting my anxiety control my actions
being vulnurable in my writing
not wanting to please the masses
saying and feeling confident
allowing myself to mess up
not comparing myself to my younger years
staying positive about my creativity
the ability to not opinions of others influence me
not letting small details halt progress
What is your definition of winning?
Saturday, December 2, 2017
Artistic Vision
Artistic Vision
This is a studio:
warm and creative
flower on the table
palette, filled so perfectly
brush angled toward light
reflected on canvas
delicate hands are seen,
a mirrored image of a little girl--
shown through a cracked shell
she is shyly smiling
nervous – afraid
I seem friendly;
maybe a little too serious
“you seem hard at work”
unable to breath, temporary
“Oh no I'm not having fun”
“perfect thats,you”
dress billowy,roses flawless
not a hem out of place
The mirror is always so perfect
She's equally as perfect
doll--like whimsy
I,stripped of my identity
“a nobody all in pieces”
inanimate object, flower
comes alive
deep rich yellows and brown
“those are my favorite flowers”
I nod knowing one can
still be innocent
I Stand back and admire
“no, change this petal, its too small”
“Oh yeah its too small, right “
The flower twisted into my vision.
the little girl piped
“it's just a flower, they all have a
stem and petals”
the sun hits every petal
purple,black
“the simpler the better”
my eyes roll – lazily
dimples, wide eyed
innocence
“ I think it can always be improved
“it's beautiful in my eyes”the artists starts to sob
“but an artist is never truly satisfied”
The girl only smiles
This is a studio:
warm and creative
flower on the table
palette, filled so perfectly
brush angled toward light
reflected on canvas
delicate hands are seen,
a mirrored image of a little girl--
shown through a cracked shell
she is shyly smiling
nervous – afraid
I seem friendly;
maybe a little too serious
“you seem hard at work”
unable to breath, temporary
“Oh no I'm not having fun”
“perfect thats,you”
dress billowy,roses flawless
not a hem out of place
The mirror is always so perfect
She's equally as perfect
doll--like whimsy
I,stripped of my identity
“a nobody all in pieces”
inanimate object, flower
comes alive
deep rich yellows and brown
“those are my favorite flowers”
I nod knowing one can
still be innocent
I Stand back and admire
“no, change this petal, its too small”
“Oh yeah its too small, right “
The flower twisted into my vision.
the little girl piped
“it's just a flower, they all have a
stem and petals”
the sun hits every petal
purple,black
“the simpler the better”
my eyes roll – lazily
dimples, wide eyed
innocence
“ I think it can always be improved
“it's beautiful in my eyes”the artists starts to sob
“but an artist is never truly satisfied”
The girl only smiles
Wednesday, November 22, 2017
Humankind
I was 18 when I wrote this in 2009. I wrote this piece pf writing after I had been in Washington D.C a couple of days. This was my second mission trip. I had this message on my heart. I saw food banks, soup kitchens and more. That trip taught me to look past just a cities landmarks and history.
Humankind
the world is full of people
we are all equal in our own skin
life,happiness,family and friends coexist
in the circus of life
strangers meet and say hello,walk past
and never meet again
hidden away from everyday life, the
people that never get the chance to be looked at as equal
a big smile that goes unnoticed
shining in a pool of tears
the compassionate few may
say hello
only one stops to chat
speaking like an elephant
does to humans to humans
soup kitchens, shelters,
food banks may give you
food but never know your
name
pushing you out when the
service runs out
they need love
they need sympathy
they need to feel like a human being
we have to stop the denial
rain batters the fresh soil
an umbrella shelters you from
seeing all the little things
you head indoors and go to
your job
you have to stop the discrimination
the things are misread, ultimately
misunderstood
looked at as stereotypical
you should smile
keep the hungry fed,the poor alive
don't walk past and turn away
give them love love love
Humankind
the world is full of people
we are all equal in our own skin
life,happiness,family and friends coexist
in the circus of life
strangers meet and say hello,walk past
and never meet again
hidden away from everyday life, the
people that never get the chance to be looked at as equal
a big smile that goes unnoticed
shining in a pool of tears
the compassionate few may
say hello
only one stops to chat
speaking like an elephant
does to humans to humans
soup kitchens, shelters,
food banks may give you
food but never know your
name
pushing you out when the
service runs out
they need love
they need sympathy
they need to feel like a human being
we have to stop the denial
rain batters the fresh soil
an umbrella shelters you from
seeing all the little things
you head indoors and go to
your job
you have to stop the discrimination
the things are misread, ultimately
misunderstood
looked at as stereotypical
you should smile
keep the hungry fed,the poor alive
don't walk past and turn away
give them love love love
Monday, November 6, 2017
One
November 4th and 5th
One
one name always imitated
loved;flashes of smoke
rising to greet your peak
unstable element ignites
perfect copies destroyed
meteors run over dings
heating up His interior
you call Jesus Christ
faces too early to primitive
pictures thrown on sand
wind changes pixels everyday
modern artists sketch Him
one among many never seen
built out out of words spoken
rebel stories prayed over
making the image whole
shown presently alive
we look to see Him
ghosts shiny moments
near you in small signs
a voice you whispers
you got this pain buried
an Atlantis way down
water rushes overhead
it takes one verse read
sent by best friend's heart
each inspiration grew
placed under his branches
one blip on your path
mind changed greatly
a beat poet fueled new love
quilter gave freedom
fun Spirit brought joy
those angels sent to God
as He uses them
enhance life's creativity
one road walked down
sharing gifts all the way
He listens carefully, slowly
hears what maybe troubles
tight spaces of type A
words never coming
what is it that rocks brain
Christ hands on for you
when that joy hits
Saturday November 4th
sunshine opened gray areas
kept warm whole way
monumentally walk 2.5 miles
one on one time to really see
a God; slow each beat
living water breathed in
one person gives a relationship
that my soul crave's within
One
one name always imitated
loved;flashes of smoke
rising to greet your peak
unstable element ignites
perfect copies destroyed
meteors run over dings
heating up His interior
you call Jesus Christ
faces too early to primitive
pictures thrown on sand
wind changes pixels everyday
modern artists sketch Him
one among many never seen
built out out of words spoken
rebel stories prayed over
making the image whole
shown presently alive
we look to see Him
ghosts shiny moments
near you in small signs
a voice you whispers
you got this pain buried
an Atlantis way down
water rushes overhead
it takes one verse read
sent by best friend's heart
each inspiration grew
placed under his branches
one blip on your path
mind changed greatly
a beat poet fueled new love
quilter gave freedom
fun Spirit brought joy
those angels sent to God
as He uses them
enhance life's creativity
one road walked down
sharing gifts all the way
He listens carefully, slowly
hears what maybe troubles
tight spaces of type A
words never coming
what is it that rocks brain
Christ hands on for you
when that joy hits
Saturday November 4th
sunshine opened gray areas
kept warm whole way
monumentally walk 2.5 miles
one on one time to really see
a God; slow each beat
living water breathed in
one person gives a relationship
that my soul crave's within
Wednesday, November 1, 2017
Brilliant Observer
Written at the end of October
Brilliant Observer
fly around towns all day
God looks over them
His children always
wear angel wings
grown by ordinary people
weaving kindness, adventures
hearts of thankfullness, love
and grateful minds
in a whole heart
birds fill blue skies
exhude unique beauty
be extraordinary soul
blend voices globally
unpack chords locally
hear kind words echo
see thanks fall as rain
leaves blow across streets
each one an act to give
compliment friends
smile at them;hug gently
wings become opaque
sparkles catch His breathe
your name average
just a numbered deed
the few shout it boldly
hearing above mountains
quiet corners of church
spread virally through life
d.n.a forever changed
by temporary good acts
done without auto pilot
Brilliant Observer
fly around towns all day
God looks over them
His children always
wear angel wings
grown by ordinary people
weaving kindness, adventures
hearts of thankfullness, love
and grateful minds
in a whole heart
birds fill blue skies
exhude unique beauty
be extraordinary soul
blend voices globally
unpack chords locally
hear kind words echo
see thanks fall as rain
leaves blow across streets
each one an act to give
compliment friends
smile at them;hug gently
wings become opaque
sparkles catch His breathe
your name average
just a numbered deed
the few shout it boldly
hearing above mountains
quiet corners of church
spread virally through life
d.n.a forever changed
by temporary good acts
done without auto pilot
Sunday, October 8, 2017
Gilded Living
beginning of October
what you want is not always what you get
Gilded Living
a new city was formed
wonder all brand new
no laws etched on papyrus
or crowns gilded in silver
people gather by the water
their reflection inspires
marbled wants leap wildly
voices echo as needs hide
the high Court's begins session
tell us what you want
write down each one
be frivolous ;think practical
too many little seedlings
what will grow inspired
God which is most worthy
read all very carefully
choose your happiness level
live with joy and adventure
build up clay trees
ding any perfect towns
moves to grand palace
first impression a sadness
it is way too big
a cottage holds peace
lots of food spilled out
cupcakes,pizza galore
scarcely eaten this day
hunger takes in life
life's beauty crafted slowly
God as our landlord
you fill delicate prayers
we rise a new Street
feet learn by doing
hearts cradle north stars
values shrink daily
see what's most important
wear invisible wings
the super hero returns
message alert read
archived among inbox
home has no zip code
everyone wears grace
throw kindness around
place stamps in passport
order those sweets
dance all over life
sing compassion always
hear my name; say it
we are not just cities
full of anonymous Shadows
we are chalk drawings
coming alive to create stories
what you want is not always what you get
Gilded Living
a new city was formed
wonder all brand new
no laws etched on papyrus
or crowns gilded in silver
people gather by the water
their reflection inspires
marbled wants leap wildly
voices echo as needs hide
the high Court's begins session
tell us what you want
write down each one
be frivolous ;think practical
too many little seedlings
what will grow inspired
God which is most worthy
read all very carefully
choose your happiness level
live with joy and adventure
build up clay trees
ding any perfect towns
moves to grand palace
first impression a sadness
it is way too big
a cottage holds peace
lots of food spilled out
cupcakes,pizza galore
scarcely eaten this day
hunger takes in life
life's beauty crafted slowly
God as our landlord
you fill delicate prayers
we rise a new Street
feet learn by doing
hearts cradle north stars
values shrink daily
see what's most important
wear invisible wings
the super hero returns
message alert read
archived among inbox
home has no zip code
everyone wears grace
throw kindness around
place stamps in passport
order those sweets
dance all over life
sing compassion always
hear my name; say it
we are not just cities
full of anonymous Shadows
we are chalk drawings
coming alive to create stories
Mystery
written in college and published in the arts and literary magazine.
Sestina
Mystery
Up and down a winding path
A dark even scarier lake waits
Watch out there is a bear lurking
It leads to a deeper, creepy mystery
Who knows how it will evolve.
All I know is we are be lead by the stars
Coming around a turn, pitch black is all I see
But another curve is ahead on the path
That is all just about what it involves
A cabin could just be the one thing that surely waits
What is at the end could be a complete mystery
Will I even see that damn bear?
At last there have been actual sightings of a bear
Could it have been a mirage I was seeing
I guess it will always be a mystery
Having searched up and down the path
Let me see what I have awaited
But what does capturing a bear involve
I underestimated how much it involved
But eventually I had a captured bear
The crazy bear didn't know what it was waiting
I was going to kill it till it could not see
And I dragged it down the path
People wondered why I was so mysterious
In my head it wasn't even a mystery
How could they even accuse me of being involved?
Did they even see me walking down the path?
Was the animal really a bear?
You can never really believe what you see
What I found out was not what was waiting
Maybe that was ultimately waiting
Now that was going to be a mystery
In return it became so I could not see
Time to see what it involves
Instead all I had was this dead bear
It had now become an empty path
The path had become a place for waiting
Bears ghost had become quite a mystery
It involved nothing that I could see .
Thursday, October 5, 2017
Ink Smudges
8/4
Hello lifes challenges are not on hot air balloons or deep sea submarines
tossed onto a sandy beach
worn around the edges
wind carries note away
sending letters viral
on a top secret mission
spread happy in 1440 minutes
today and everyday
do you accept this lifestyle
midnight rolls as stars rise
people try to dream
acts seen by superheroes
whispered in giant cathedrals
shouted out new vibrations
tear a page down the center
see shockwaves match heartbeats
here real times come alive
roaming around familiar places
eyes deceive true happiness
He refuses to accept enemy
that thing lighting you
Hello lifes challenges are not on hot air balloons or deep sea submarines
Ink Smudges
as the lyrics came
from singer Jeremy Camp
as the lyrics came
from singer Jeremy Camp
Each saw a murky lake bottom
ink smudges too fast
each line heard for a second
ink smudges too fast
each line heard for a second
tossed onto a sandy beach
worn around the edges
wind carries note away
sending letters viral
on a top secret mission
spread happy in 1440 minutes
today and everyday
do you accept this lifestyle
midnight rolls as stars rise
people try to dream
find ways to exhale God
acts seen by superheroes
whispered in giant cathedrals
shouted out new vibrations
tear a page down the center
see shockwaves match heartbeats
here real times come alive
roaming around familiar places
eyes deceive true happiness
He refuses to accept enemy
that thing lighting you
our lives just masked
looking to create Joy
inside without God
quick way smiles hide
how can it be found?
by watching insta stories
hearting random pictures
updates of how a day went
post selfie in same pose
you lost it says God
just turn on radio
lyrics fly on clouds
trail behind an airplane
listen all day long
"in this obsession with
the things this world says
makes us happy"
but he reminds us
take surfing lessons
surf the world
find human growth
more than internet goals
bring happiness smiles
and turn smiles into artwork
view masterpieces now
wherever you go
looking to create Joy
inside without God
quick way smiles hide
how can it be found?
by watching insta stories
hearting random pictures
updates of how a day went
post selfie in same pose
you lost it says God
just turn on radio
lyrics fly on clouds
trail behind an airplane
listen all day long
"in this obsession with
the things this world says
makes us happy"
but he reminds us
take surfing lessons
surf the world
find human growth
more than internet goals
bring happiness smiles
and turn smiles into artwork
view masterpieces now
wherever you go
Wednesday, August 16, 2017
counting stars( compter les รฉtoiles)๐๐
8/11/17
Counting Stars
A heart is on a moon wave
camped by Viking ship shadows
nearby towns feel so lonely
too much light to really see
kaleidoscope eyes smile wide
escaping into calmer waters
deeply alive in hiking boots
when beats rise gracefully
a lung rests aboard the stern
dives through warm air
everyone fills nights long
sun sings new days ahead
cool crisp August melodies
twirls around mountaintops
A brain sat atop that peak
what was it doing there
stopped for toil was worth it
on top of a large rock
looking out toward wild woods
light evaporates into dark skies
creating an alter of stars
take minds ride on Cygnus
A person looks up north
stuck traveling along milky way
counts stars that pass by
99...100 and they quit
billions spill unto earth
become grains of sand
using light to fuel courage
courage of each gleam
hops off with buried wisdom
A girl walks along a beach
finds a note carved in gold
or huge suprises deep within
brush sand off and reads
do not count the regrets
do not count negatives
do not count popularity
do count lifes moments
in seconds not years
A girl is walking away
her heart feels lighter
breathing in clean oxegyn
thought of others as human
as kindness delivery men
enjoying life loved
traced among friends or
flesh and blood
ever changed as she;
grew into a
Counting Stars
A heart is on a moon wave
camped by Viking ship shadows
nearby towns feel so lonely
too much light to really see
kaleidoscope eyes smile wide
escaping into calmer waters
deeply alive in hiking boots
when beats rise gracefully
a lung rests aboard the stern
dives through warm air
everyone fills nights long
sun sings new days ahead
cool crisp August melodies
twirls around mountaintops
A brain sat atop that peak
what was it doing there
stopped for toil was worth it
on top of a large rock
looking out toward wild woods
light evaporates into dark skies
creating an alter of stars
take minds ride on Cygnus
A person looks up north
stuck traveling along milky way
counts stars that pass by
99...100 and they quit
billions spill unto earth
become grains of sand
using light to fuel courage
courage of each gleam
hops off with buried wisdom
A girl walks along a beach
finds a note carved in gold
or huge suprises deep within
brush sand off and reads
do not count the regrets
do not count negatives
do not count popularity
do count lifes moments
in seconds not years
A girl is walking away
her heart feels lighter
breathing in clean oxegyn
thought of others as human
as kindness delivery men
enjoying life loved
traced among friends or
flesh and blood
ever changed as she;
grew into a
Sunday, July 30, 2017
Empty Seat
written on July 10th
Empty Seat
this party has endless guests
a handful of best friends
savor time in each second
no distractions;no work
counting only 10 chairs
people authentically themselves
inviting all our favorites
to laugh,encourage
be the force waking up life
there was an empty seat
reserved all the time
Hello God can we talk?
What do you want right now?
prayer for others around y'all
keep focus on being a warrior
untangle there tears slowly
exhale pain,inhale smiles
What is weighing on your heart?
a part wants perfect beauty
a peice takes things internally
the whole split in half so fast
distort a real person
sing out differences,celebrate
brush off missteps
throw away looking flawless
embrace pretty in the dark
What fears throw off balance?
turning feet to stone
and tears into glass
make a hearts light playful
allow life create firsts
first time at broadway
hike through forests
change fear into feathers
What are you grateful for?
people to talk to
sun shine warming up sadness
being surrounded by beauty
ways to get around town
1000 reasons for fullness
and hearing a favorite band
How rich has this year been?
money has never been happy
possessions grow sentimental
friends breathe new wealth
things mean so much more
checkup;halfway happy
sit at the table today
what will you leave with
a God so amazing
people telling you stuff straight
new wonder to take home
I was the only one left
amazed by His presence
Lait et Miel (milk and honey)๐๐ณ
written at the end of july
Lait et Miel or Milk and Honey
Mrs flower; hello my daughter
has God fed you well today
wait I already had breakfast
nourish the image in side mirror
tell it how to be confident
and not care about your shadow
how to travel with an open heart
throw smiles this new morning
Mr tree;bonjour
have you tasted the world
view footprints on stardust
see little sprinkles of nature
touch waters marbled by light
breathe fresh air deeply
let time pass slow honey
warm sun;goodbye
what was the joy moment
eating from Gods cup
walk out many worries
if only for one day
pink and orange warps sky
allowing me to feast
bright moon;what a comfort
are you satisfied right now
feet walk into dark cabin
a restless mind paces well
I stir honey into my tea
and turn on late night radio
crying for day not to end
God I have tasted honey
sipped milk from a tall glass
Lait et Miel or Milk and Honey
Mrs flower; hello my daughter
has God fed you well today
wait I already had breakfast
nourish the image in side mirror
tell it how to be confident
and not care about your shadow
how to travel with an open heart
throw smiles this new morning
Mr tree;bonjour
have you tasted the world
view footprints on stardust
see little sprinkles of nature
touch waters marbled by light
breathe fresh air deeply
let time pass slow honey
warm sun;goodbye
what was the joy moment
eating from Gods cup
walk out many worries
if only for one day
pink and orange warps sky
allowing me to feast
bright moon;what a comfort
are you satisfied right now
feet walk into dark cabin
a restless mind paces well
I stir honey into my tea
and turn on late night radio
crying for day not to end
God I have tasted honey
sipped milk from a tall glass
All About Me: more about me
Why I write?
1. To get people talking about each line. I want people to start a conversation after reading it. Dig deeper into the why, what really needs to be talked about.
2. Hear stories that make you want to explore our beautiful world.
3. Hear things in a different way. View the world from a female perspective.
4. I want people to leave having known something new about me.
5. I want to help bridge the gap between God and young people.
6. Taking stories and making hem relatable to multiple generations.
What do I like to write about?
1. the moon
2. flowers
3. journeys
4. book ideas
5. poignant history
6. strong females
7. experiences/events
8. womens issues
9. weather
10. nature
I like to write lyrical poetry and free verse and bio poems.
What am I into?
Nascar sprint cup
paranormal shows
western expansion
colonial period
primates
Sunday, July 16, 2017
My Testimony ( full version)
My Baptism, around 21 minutes.
Step back for a moment and look back 20 years. I had envisioned myself having a career as an artist. Age 8 , it seemed silly to plan my adult life. I had gone to Sunday school for years. During this time my faith life felt so generic. It was learning kid friendly Bible stories and acting as an angel in all those pageants. Being a kid I tried to learn what made Godly people different. God was absent as my role model for this growing up stuff. My shyness and anxiety separated a great relationship with God. Anxiety that grew stronger when fifth grade year started. I turned 11 and life took adjustng to. I was a year older than most of my peers. On the outside I could pass for younger. I was a girl who loved hearing Jesus’ good lessons, but turned my eyes to combat life by bragging. I was mad at religion for many years to come.
It was my thought that made me mad . I cried trying to understand all the surrounding losses. Anxiety got a little stronger every year. Up until I joined a youth group when I was 16. However, being Jesus’ disciple was tricky. It seemed like enough to go to church or do a couple of service projects. It didn’t feel like I was living up to my full potential and this life was overwhelming. I didn’t care to allow God in. Keep in mind during the next 4 1/2 years I wanted to escape all responsibilities. Escape my brain keeping me up at night, constant sickness and creating stress.
Quitting was on my mind every single day. Anxiety robbed me of the happiness to enjoy life. College graduation meant knowing who I was as a person. And having my life seem perfect. At the age of 23 I had to change what an artist did. I was a person missing yes moments life offers. Looking to age 25.
25, life should have had abundance of meaningful moments. A feeling shown on my face, tears waiting for hope. Hope that faith could bring me those moments. It was one afternoon where pacing took place. It was a struggle to grab my keys but it was worth it. Turning on the radio gave a moment to breathe; with an intentional purpose. A favorite lyric came on “what a wonderful name it is " and tears came. Tears that held so much meaning. It was the start of a great new wave. Halfway through something came over me. My brain was asleep to the world. Thinking became a chore. Add it to an endless to do list. But each heartbeat felt so strong. Maybe earthquake strong during that moment. I calculated each turn, hoping they would end at comfort zones.
One foot on pavement was amazing. Each beat grounded on Earth . Off the spaceship and into life. A fresh start began in a place so unfamiliar. It was a few minutes after 7PM where I calmed down enough. The first introductions led me to find amazing people. I realized beginning again was better done with friends. The speaker that night was talking, how faith changed them. A new emotion came over me that night. I was ready to conquer my anxious thoughts. On this day a smile was across my face. The case, every time I attended the Twelve 2. I felt like I belonged to a new group. It is different each time, life takes patience. The ability no matter what age to welcome Gods fullness. A void filled with countless reruns of shows. Watching them waiting for God to speak. This was the start of something great.
I rediscovered how words that I spoke reached God. At first, it felt weird to talk to the air. What was to come would expand into a wonderful life. God’s every sentence has a meaning beyond. Baby steps were all I knew how to do. The ups and downs that life gave pushed me toward God. I was at another 12:2 and I heard a spoken word piece. God spoke to me after this. He said, “Find that joy again. Trust in me and spread good in whatever you do.” It took time to absorb how to do so. Life was looking up or at least allowing God to reach me through words. Inching along to connect the missing pieces.
In January of this year the pieces started to fall into place. The other piece was love. Love takes many forms. It was toward the beginning of the month an awesome friend asked me to go to church. Telling a long- awaited answer as it took me a few months to build up my courage to say ’yes’. My legs got shaky. The next day picked up my pen and wrote. I illustrated my journey. This poem allowed God in spaces reserved . That first poem dubbed “my yellow brick road” and I decided to see the light in cloudy days.
My bible was open that Sunday. The first thing was a sense of relief. A heart full of emotions came to the surface. However, it was different this time. Dealing with it felt effortless. Taking my notebook and starting with a verse psalm 86:5. I wrote a poem and it was one of the first times I said love Jesus. I found myself farther along on this journey. Jesus knew that joy came that afternoon. I was seeing God in a whole new way, for all the good qualities. I took life day by day. Emotions were better dealt with Jesus’ love that I have. Finding prayer through writing poetry became the connection. I learned to use my talent to grow in faith. It was all in Gods timing.
I started going to church every Sunday. Jesus is breathing a life free from anxious thoughts. Allowing me to say yes to all that life offers and share His word. What I know is that I am an artist with words to speak. Today, I’ve chosen baptism because God has made my life so much richer. I want to declare that I am living with the joy He has shown me.
Monday, July 10, 2017
My yellow brick road
written in the beginning of January
poem type ses·ti·na
a poem with six stanzas of six lines and a final triplet, all stanzas having the same six words at the line-ends in six different sequences that follow a fixed pattern, and with all six words appearing in the closing three-line envoi.
My yellow brick road
fear is more than just a word
becomes bigger with each step
just one more and I'll conquer it
take a moment to just breathe
its not about the journey
I want the destination in the end
my first glance in front of it
what was ahead at the very end
each moment a labored breathe
struggling to say one word
forced feet to take one step
can I enjoy the journey
shake out the fear in each step
I calm down with each breathe
keeping the peace in the end
maybe friends help this journey
saying exactly those kind words
to stay on the path of it
inner voices jolt your breathe
coming at you with every word
push and pull along the journey
am I so afraid of seeing it
turn around before the end
worried at each step
I will fix my journey
focused on how to find it
walking faster with each step
rushes to get toward the end
I forget that I breathe
people tell me a kind word
over the hill we end
can I say I loved the journey
please hear every word
growing in life step by step
discover that something was it
it is important to breathe
this journey always one more step
end with Jesus in every breathe
my life has the "it"
poem type ses·ti·na
a poem with six stanzas of six lines and a final triplet, all stanzas having the same six words at the line-ends in six different sequences that follow a fixed pattern, and with all six words appearing in the closing three-line envoi.
My yellow brick road
fear is more than just a word
becomes bigger with each step
just one more and I'll conquer it
take a moment to just breathe
its not about the journey
I want the destination in the end
my first glance in front of it
what was ahead at the very end
each moment a labored breathe
struggling to say one word
forced feet to take one step
can I enjoy the journey
shake out the fear in each step
I calm down with each breathe
keeping the peace in the end
maybe friends help this journey
saying exactly those kind words
to stay on the path of it
inner voices jolt your breathe
coming at you with every word
push and pull along the journey
am I so afraid of seeing it
turn around before the end
worried at each step
I will fix my journey
focused on how to find it
walking faster with each step
rushes to get toward the end
I forget that I breathe
people tell me a kind word
over the hill we end
can I say I loved the journey
please hear every word
growing in life step by step
discover that something was it
it is important to breathe
this journey always one more step
end with Jesus in every breathe
my life has the "it"
Polaroids treasure
June 4th
Polaroids Treasure
Grandpa what is this map for?
I thought maps ondrawing precisely
found places one freshly viewed
no Bethel alive within to proclaim
mixing up how spaces speak
walls warm beautiful Minds
as gear is checked off
loaded beneath colorful group of islands
a land lined in green ink
where each mile;a new Polaroid
starting point treehouse
a sign reads be creative be an explorer
show others what you see
talent isn't far away little one
find me this image in time
make wandering eyes quiet and bright
how do you see years in a life
book hidden around squeaky floor
dreams failed one sentence, long enough
wants neat tidy list, dates
the first page was that map
no location just coordinates scribbled
marks of world closer to home
think where will your talent be found
I would love to see space camp
or maybe Cape Canaveral
is my talent being NASA genius
who is the say how far all orbit
summer six-years-old flew to Yosemite
hoping that animals would love us
rent a site explore national parks
is my talent talking to animals
rescue our ideas from giants
hypnotise life's enemies into clarity
do them no favor always
play around with vastness
cities filled by crazy pairs
pa and me creating a future
but my sister came in August
cast among sunshine, indigo
my seven-year-old self adopts a camera
tools created to capture the familiar
focus shifts conquer little details
pages filled by life busyness
first mingle; adventures sing
a lifetime found one night
and age 18 blank moments
today I became a graduate of life
less adventures seem so lonely
glances things are forgotten
muddled road traps framed
looking back at countless experiences
find who I am over ice cream
bury past attempts through grace
realize those photos mean more
next 4 hours where emotional
I pondered his list of coordinates
where are they, come out to call
asking him for exact directions
"you can find them in time"
my car was merely step 1
learning each stop;new eyes
locate love of exploring again
diner, got his regular breakfast
movies,watched a classic reinvented
lunch, a quaint little bistro
as sun sets last mile awaits
road narrows into green farms
car parked by worn out barn
tarnished with character
deep inside empty stalls and rooms
lived a mans comfort zone
escape mighty axis shifts
a small wooden box remains
every moment artfully written
how his eyes inked our adventures
and I finally understand
how to show others what I see
how you viewed life as grandpa
what all these moments connected
my love of simple photos
narrative approve event for take off
standing on his Bethel ground
one day one picture of mine
one snapshot one home
sanctuaries messy happy
the map is for the revival of ordinary
Polaroids Treasure
Grandpa what is this map for?
I thought maps ondrawing precisely
found places one freshly viewed
no Bethel alive within to proclaim
mixing up how spaces speak
walls warm beautiful Minds
as gear is checked off
loaded beneath colorful group of islands
a land lined in green ink
where each mile;a new Polaroid
starting point treehouse
a sign reads be creative be an explorer
show others what you see
talent isn't far away little one
find me this image in time
make wandering eyes quiet and bright
how do you see years in a life
book hidden around squeaky floor
dreams failed one sentence, long enough
wants neat tidy list, dates
the first page was that map
no location just coordinates scribbled
marks of world closer to home
think where will your talent be found
I would love to see space camp
or maybe Cape Canaveral
is my talent being NASA genius
who is the say how far all orbit
summer six-years-old flew to Yosemite
hoping that animals would love us
rent a site explore national parks
is my talent talking to animals
rescue our ideas from giants
hypnotise life's enemies into clarity
do them no favor always
play around with vastness
cities filled by crazy pairs
pa and me creating a future
but my sister came in August
cast among sunshine, indigo
my seven-year-old self adopts a camera
tools created to capture the familiar
focus shifts conquer little details
pages filled by life busyness
first mingle; adventures sing
a lifetime found one night
and age 18 blank moments
today I became a graduate of life
less adventures seem so lonely
glances things are forgotten
muddled road traps framed
looking back at countless experiences
find who I am over ice cream
bury past attempts through grace
realize those photos mean more
next 4 hours where emotional
I pondered his list of coordinates
where are they, come out to call
asking him for exact directions
"you can find them in time"
my car was merely step 1
learning each stop;new eyes
locate love of exploring again
diner, got his regular breakfast
movies,watched a classic reinvented
lunch, a quaint little bistro
as sun sets last mile awaits
road narrows into green farms
car parked by worn out barn
tarnished with character
deep inside empty stalls and rooms
lived a mans comfort zone
escape mighty axis shifts
a small wooden box remains
every moment artfully written
how his eyes inked our adventures
and I finally understand
how to show others what I see
how you viewed life as grandpa
what all these moments connected
my love of simple photos
narrative approve event for take off
standing on his Bethel ground
one day one picture of mine
one snapshot one home
sanctuaries messy happy
the map is for the revival of ordinary
Words are 3.D
May 31st and June 3rd and 4th
Words are 3.D
speaking from a simple tounge
I am grateful for prayer
ways to talk to the son
blame time spent surfing
one update drives a million
does this feed make you hungry
or starving for words
just ask yourself right
places those fingers over his voice
read aloud wisdom this morning
seek advice you thought was reserved
bought by the greatest of people
Its those letters made to last
the tounge holds all emotion
no password to enter the abyss
kings and queens welcome too
you or me shines out of faith
open up words flat on the page
throw them out one by one
leap around empty souls
project John learn from Abraham
I am grateful to hear them
where people are full
left wanting a 3.D life
with glasses perfecting eyes
ears inside his thoughts
listening deeply in due time
that His word boldly shouts
shouts of truth disquised no more
dare to simply speak
"what has God done,
for you this year, month,
week or every day"
Monday, June 26, 2017
Time is golden
written at end of May
time is more than seconds melting into hours
morning sunshine, I wonder about today
can I be the best possible me right now
or will the world distract wildly
slowly camping in the wilderness
places of canopies and little baby bees
days created only for us to enjoy
that nights are waves hitting the bow
morning sunshine, I wonder about today
can I be the best possible me right now
or will the world distract wildly
slowly camping in the wilderness
places of canopies and little baby bees
days created only for us to enjoy
that nights are waves hitting the bow
chairs around red orange sparks
moon shadows dive off the shore
flecks of golden mallow dance about
a classic combo delivers a hello
one bite warms this cold night
cozy ballads wrap up faded sunsets
the world a buzz with cricket songs
fireflies glow awake at dusk
attend party till dawn erupts
moon shadows dive off the shore
flecks of golden mallow dance about
a classic combo delivers a hello
one bite warms this cold night
cozy ballads wrap up faded sunsets
the world a buzz with cricket songs
fireflies glow awake at dusk
attend party till dawn erupts
eyes inspect waking hours
where dings eclipse into silence
and walls grow from clouds;raindrops
my hands build tents
tracing trailed on creased maps
paper quickly torn apart
memories worn inside a heart
today I had no alarm am asleep
wake out of sync with the sun
taking breathes;fresh air;happy
worship new seconds freedom
a life grateful intentional spiritual
where dings eclipse into silence
and walls grow from clouds;raindrops
my hands build tents
tracing trailed on creased maps
paper quickly torn apart
memories worn inside a heart
today I had no alarm am asleep
wake out of sync with the sun
taking breathes;fresh air;happy
worship new seconds freedom
a life grateful intentional spiritual
Sunday, May 21, 2017
She
Friday May 19th and Sunday 21st
your creative side is really flowing CS
She
happy are little moments of joy
the moments when smiles widen
when you are doing something you love
a pure joy when you feed it
incredible pockets of light emerge
before moon dweller guards night
comfort on this country road
only one step kicking up dust
stills of smooth ocean rocks
gliding across clear waters
sunk beneath nature's treasures
stills of days filled with smiles
moments created when sun comes up
stills of special places you visit
bringing you closer to inner peace
stills of people woven for a purpose
put in when you need them most
stills of memorable firsts and
cherished hobbies to fuel you
fuels never sparked by the hand
but given through the grace of God
the stills moved on the silver screen
her voice finally heard
round out that glass
trace those jagged peaks
scale the cliff faces boldly
boldly she says this is how life
was meant to be lived
full of laughter
full of grace
full of wonder
live positively present
your creative side is really flowing CS
She
happy are little moments of joy
the moments when smiles widen
when you are doing something you love
a pure joy when you feed it
incredible pockets of light emerge
before moon dweller guards night
up with the stars
comfort on this country road
only one step kicking up dust
specks of outside voices collided
she hears all of them but her own
a grassy field made from glass 5 miles
the past as told by other people
replayed through wind
she hears all of them but her own
a grassy field made from glass 5 miles
the past as told by other people
replayed through wind
birds wings heart beats
simpler things
she is full of beauty under curls
beautiful moments caught in the heart
she is talented in her passions
writing to give the world a blessing
she can do so much more today
more than the accepted norm
she is not just flowers and lace
having her own style on two soles
she has a voice distinctly toned
ideas opinions woven in life's fabric
her words differ but that's ok
she has feelings inside
a big part of truly living
she is one step closer to the field
staring into glass half full
fresh thoughts so positive so great
with the future told by her
the path built now from bricks
built sturdy and tough
past mile 5 lies life well lived
a walkway into an alternate timelapse
she is full of beauty under curls
beautiful moments caught in the heart
she is talented in her passions
writing to give the world a blessing
she can do so much more today
more than the accepted norm
she is not just flowers and lace
having her own style on two soles
she has a voice distinctly toned
ideas opinions woven in life's fabric
her words differ but that's ok
she has feelings inside
a big part of truly living
she is one step closer to the field
staring into glass half full
fresh thoughts so positive so great
with the future told by her
the path built now from bricks
built sturdy and tough
past mile 5 lies life well lived
a walkway into an alternate timelapse
stills of smooth ocean rocks
gliding across clear waters
sunk beneath nature's treasures
stills of days filled with smiles
moments created when sun comes up
stills of special places you visit
bringing you closer to inner peace
stills of people woven for a purpose
put in when you need them most
stills of memorable firsts and
cherished hobbies to fuel you
fuels never sparked by the hand
but given through the grace of God
the stills moved on the silver screen
her voice finally heard
outside whispers deflate
inflate shouts of affirmation
inflate shouts of affirmation
round out that glass
trace those jagged peaks
scale the cliff faces boldly
boldly she says this is how life
was meant to be lived
full of laughter
full of grace
full of wonder
live positively present
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