Empty Seat

written on July 10th

Empty Seat

this party has endless guests
a handful of best friends
savor time in each second
no distractions;no work
counting only 10 chairs
people authentically themselves
inviting all our favorites
to laugh,encourage
be the force waking up life

there was an empty seat
reserved all the time
Hello God can we talk?
What do you want right now?
prayer for others around y'all
keep focus on being a warrior
untangle there tears slowly
exhale pain,inhale smiles

What is weighing on your heart?
a part wants perfect beauty
a peice takes things internally
the whole split in half so fast
distort a real person
sing out differences,celebrate
brush off missteps
throw away looking flawless
embrace pretty in the dark

What fears throw off balance?
turning feet to stone
and tears into glass
make a hearts light playful
allow life create firsts
first time at broadway
hike through forests
change fear into feathers

What are you grateful for?
people to talk to
sun shine warming up sadness
being surrounded by beauty
ways to get around town
1000 reasons for fullness
and hearing a favorite band

How rich has this year been?
money has never been happy
possessions grow sentimental
friends breathe new wealth
things mean so much more
checkup;halfway happy

sit at the table today
what will you leave with
a God so amazing
people telling you stuff straight
new wonder to take home
I was the only one left
amazed by His presence

Lait et Miel (milk and honey)🌒🌳

written at the end of july

Lait et Miel or Milk and Honey

Mrs flower; hello my daughter
has God fed you well today
wait I already had breakfast
nourish the image in side mirror
tell it how to be confident
and not care about your shadow
how to travel with an open heart
throw smiles this new morning

Mr tree;bonjour
have you tasted the world
view footprints on stardust
see little sprinkles of nature
touch waters marbled by light
breathe fresh air deeply
let time pass slow honey

warm sun;goodbye
what was the joy moment
eating from Gods cup
walk out many worries
if only for one day
pink and orange warps sky
allowing me to feast

bright moon;what a comfort
are you satisfied right now
feet walk into dark cabin
a restless mind paces well
I stir honey into my tea
and turn on late night radio
crying for day not to end
God I have tasted honey
sipped milk from a tall glass

All About Me: more about me

Why I write?

1. To get people talking about each line. I want people to start a conversation after reading it. Dig deeper into the why, what really needs to be talked about.

2. Hear stories that make you want to explore our beautiful world.

3. Hear things in a different way. View the world from a female perspective.

4. I want people to leave having known something new about me.

5. I want to help bridge the gap between God and young people.

6. Taking stories and making hem relatable to multiple generations.

What do I like to write about?

1. the moon

2. flowers

3. journeys

4. book ideas

5. poignant history

6. strong females

7. experiences/events

8. womens issues

9. weather

10. nature

I like to write lyrical poetry and free verse and bio poems.

What am I into?

Nascar sprint cup

paranormal shows

western expansion 

colonial period

primates

My Testimony ( full version)

My Baptism, around 21 minutes. 

   Step back for a moment and look back 20 years.  I had envisioned myself having a career as an artist. Age 8 , it seemed silly to plan my adult life.  I had gone to Sunday school for years. During this time my faith life felt so generic. It was learning kid friendly Bible stories and acting as an angel in all those pageants. Being a kid I tried to learn what made Godly people different. God was absent as my role model for this growing up stuff.  My shyness and anxiety separated a great relationship with God. Anxiety that grew stronger when fifth grade year started.  I turned 11 and life took adjustng to. I was a year older than most of my peers. On the outside I could pass for younger. I was a girl who loved hearing Jesus’ good lessons, but turned my eyes to combat life by bragging. I was mad at religion for many years to come. 

      It was my thought that made me mad . I cried trying to understand all the surrounding losses. Anxiety got a little stronger every year. Up until I joined a youth group when I was 16.  However, being Jesus’ disciple was tricky. It seemed like enough to go to church or do a couple of service projects. It didn’t feel like I was living up to my full potential and this life was overwhelming. I didn’t care to allow God in.  Keep in mind during the next 4 1/2 years I wanted to escape all responsibilities. Escape my brain keeping me up at night, constant sickness and creating stress. 

           Quitting was on my mind every single day. Anxiety robbed me of the happiness to enjoy life. College graduation meant knowing who I was as a person.  And having my life seem perfect. At the age of 23 I had to change what an artist did. I was a person missing yes moments life offers. Looking  to age 25. 

          25, life should have had abundance of meaningful moments. A feeling shown on my face, tears waiting for hope. Hope that faith could  bring me those moments.  It was one afternoon where pacing took place. It was a struggle to grab my keys but it was worth it.  Turning on the radio gave a moment to breathe;  with an intentional purpose. A favorite lyric came on “what a wonderful name it is " and tears came. Tears that held so much  meaning. It was the start of a great new wave.  Halfway through something came over me. My brain was asleep to the world. Thinking became a chore. Add it to an endless to do list. But each heartbeat felt so strong. Maybe earthquake  strong during that moment. I calculated each turn, hoping they would end at comfort zones. 

          One foot on pavement was amazing. Each beat grounded on Earth . Off the spaceship and into life. A fresh start began in a place so unfamiliar. It was a few minutes after 7PM where I calmed down enough. The first introductions led me to find amazing people. I realized beginning again was better done with friends. The speaker that night was talking, how faith changed them. A new emotion came over me that night. I was ready to conquer my anxious thoughts. On this day a smile was across my face. The case, every time I attended the Twelve 2. I felt like I belonged to a new group. It is different each time, life takes patience. The ability no matter what age to welcome Gods fullness. A void filled with countless reruns of shows. Watching them waiting for God to speak. This was the start of something great. 

          I rediscovered how words that I spoke reached God. At first, it felt weird to talk to the air. What was to come would expand into a wonderful life. God’s every sentence has a meaning beyond. Baby steps were all I knew how to do. The ups and downs that life gave pushed me toward God. I was at another 12:2 and I heard a spoken word piece.  God spoke to me after this. He said, “Find that joy again. Trust in me and spread good in whatever you do.” It took time to absorb how to do so. Life was looking up or at least allowing God to reach me through words. Inching along to connect the missing pieces. 

          In January of this year the pieces started to fall into place. The other piece was love. Love takes many forms. It was toward the beginning of the month an awesome friend asked me to go to church. Telling a long- awaited answer as it took me a few months to build up my courage to say ’yes’.  My legs got shaky. The next day picked up my pen and wrote. I illustrated my journey. This poem allowed God in spaces reserved . That first poem dubbed  “my yellow brick road” and I decided to see the light in cloudy days. 

          My bible was open that Sunday. The first thing was a sense of relief.  A heart full of emotions came to the surface. However, it was different this time. Dealing with it felt effortless. Taking my notebook and starting with a verse psalm 86:5.  I wrote a poem and it was one of the first times I said love Jesus. I found myself farther along on this journey.  Jesus knew that joy came that afternoon. I was seeing God in a whole new way, for all the good qualities. I took life day by day. Emotions were better dealt with Jesus’ love that I have. Finding prayer through writing poetry became the connection. I learned to use my talent to grow in faith. It was all in Gods timing. 

         I started going to church every Sunday. Jesus is breathing a life free from anxious thoughts. Allowing me to say yes to all that life offers and share His word. What I know is that I am an artist with words to speak. Today, I’ve chosen baptism because God has made my life so much richer. I want to declare that I am living with the joy He has shown me.

My yellow brick road

written in the beginning of January

poem type ses·ti·na
a poem with six stanzas of six lines and a final triplet, all stanzas having the same six words at the line-ends in six different sequences that follow a fixed pattern, and with all six words appearing in the closing three-line envoi.

My yellow brick road

fear is more than just a word
becomes bigger with each step
just one more and I'll conquer it
take a moment to just breathe
its not about the journey
I want the destination in the end

my first glance in front of it
what was ahead at the very end
each moment a labored breathe
struggling to say one word
forced feet to take one step
can I enjoy the journey

shake out the fear in each step
I calm down with each breathe
keeping the peace in the end
maybe friends help this journey
saying exactly those kind words
to stay on the path of it

inner voices jolt your breathe
coming at you with every word
push and pull along the journey
am I so afraid of seeing it
turn around before the end
worried at each step

I will fix my journey
focused on how to find it
walking faster with each step
rushes to get toward the end
I forget that I breathe
people tell me a kind word

over the hill we end 
can I say I loved the journey
please hear every word
growing in life step by step
discover that something was it
it is important to breathe

this journey always one more step
end with Jesus in every breathe
my life has the "it"

Polaroids treasure

June 4th

Polaroids Treasure

Grandpa what is this map for?
I thought maps ondrawing precisely
found places one freshly viewed
no Bethel alive within to proclaim
mixing up how spaces speak
walls warm beautiful Minds
as gear is checked off
loaded beneath colorful group of islands
a land lined in green ink
where each mile;a new Polaroid

starting point treehouse
a sign reads be creative be an explorer
show others what you see
talent isn't far away little one
find me this image in time
make wandering eyes quiet and bright
how do you see years in a life

book hidden around squeaky floor
dreams failed one sentence, long enough
wants neat tidy list, dates
the first page was that map
no location just coordinates scribbled
marks of world closer to home
think where will your talent be found
I would love to see space camp
or maybe Cape Canaveral
is my talent being NASA genius

who is the say how far all orbit
summer six-years-old flew to Yosemite
hoping that animals would love us
rent a site explore national parks
is my talent talking to animals
rescue our ideas from giants
hypnotise life's enemies into clarity

do them no favor always
play around with vastness
cities filled by crazy pairs
pa and me creating a future
but my sister came in August
cast among sunshine, indigo
my seven-year-old self adopts a camera
tools created to capture the familiar
focus shifts conquer little details

pages filled by life busyness
first mingle; adventures sing
a lifetime found one night
and age 18 blank moments
today I became a graduate of life
less adventures seem so lonely
glances things are forgotten
muddled road traps framed

looking back at countless experiences
find who I am over ice cream
bury past attempts through grace
realize those photos mean more
next 4 hours where emotional
I pondered his list of coordinates
where are they, come out to call
asking him for exact directions

"you can find them in time"
my car was merely step 1
learning each stop;new eyes
locate love of exploring again
diner, got his regular breakfast
movies,watched a classic reinvented
lunch, a quaint little bistro
as sun sets last mile awaits
road narrows into green farms

car parked by worn out barn
tarnished with character
deep inside empty stalls and rooms
lived a mans comfort zone
escape mighty axis shifts

a small wooden box remains
every moment artfully written
how his eyes inked our adventures
and I finally understand
how to show others what I see
how you viewed life as grandpa
what all these moments connected
my love of simple photos
narrative approve event for take off

standing on his Bethel ground
one day one picture of mine
one snapshot one home
sanctuaries messy happy
the map is for the revival of ordinary

Words are 3.D

May 31st and June 3rd and 4th

Words are 3.D

speaking from a simple tounge
I am grateful for prayer
ways to talk to the son
blame time spent surfing
one update drives a million
does this feed make you hungry
or starving for words
just ask yourself right
places those fingers over his voice
read aloud wisdom this morning
seek advice you thought was reserved
bought by the greatest of people

Its those letters made to last
the tounge holds all emotion
no password to enter the abyss
kings and queens welcome too
you or me shines out of faith
open up words flat  on the page
throw them out one by one
leap around empty souls
project John learn from Abraham

I am grateful to hear them
where people are full
left wanting a 3.D life
with glasses perfecting eyes
ears inside his thoughts
listening deeply in due time
that His word boldly shouts
shouts of truth disquised no more
dare to simply speak
"what has God done,
for you this year, month,
week or every day"