Struggle into joy

December 2018

Struggle into Joy

the words I have read
countless times;many head spaces
expect a change in ones orbit
mine stuck beyond a verse
inside these chapters shadows
known so well,for night falls
shaped as days wake up
part of truly engaging
find ways to make God alive

alive,joy in marked passages
tiny connections relatable
why do I read the word?
it feels like my owwn joy grows
a personal thank you God
when earth makes no sense
and oceans seem bigger
your voice wrars scuba gear
breathed with ancient lungs

lungs of a great ape
heart of the flawed
only key has disappeared, burned
fly away to firey places
I don't want you near daily
my happy places aren't quiet
see,hear,taste,touch life
erase perhaps flawed chapter
pray for His voice reading it

enter that memory open
listen He can see a birds eye view
I am only in first person
talking to myself boldly
lies meet bright goodbyes
door;how can I close it?
this God leaves a signal
buried with vikings treasure
one verse beginning,healer

healer words spoken everyday
pray when a heart opens up
make the past raindrops
built from stained glass windows
pieces where I have walked
invisible wings created by you
see someone rising, healed
live as each memory transforms
slowly adds to a brilliant church

I want you near daily
my sad days are louder
happy places are discoveries
a verse standing out
shadows not so lonely
prayer "I have seen joy
come from this memory
I am loving where it has taken me
stages and blog and friends.

Becca Joy

My ABC's of poetry

My ABC's of poetry

Art of skies,moons and birds
Be called an original
Create echoes from dust
Deep ordinary places found
Explore find inspiration
Find your own castle
Grow in depth
Hear words out loud
Inspire in unexpected ways
Joy in every detail
Keep those warm and fuzzies
Listen to words heartbeat
Mysteries become alive
No word limits
Observe the world
Passion over perfect
Question everything
Rewrites are okay
Signatures are priceless
Take to favorite places
Use all of your five senses
View poems as grown up
Write what you feel
X marks a journey
Your never wrong
Zoom those telescopes
                  Becca Joy

Hoo am I ?

written end of August. My 200th poem in lieu of my 20th anniversary of writing poetry and inspirational peice. Enjoy this one.

Hoo am I ?


the heartbeat of me
has always loved each letter
whose job;forms countless words
put in front of me daily
I choose to see their beauty
the beauty in the very few
asking one simple question
I wanted to see how they fly
each seed found their wings

those birds wonder gracefully
hardly looking for answer
before I sign they might come
better yet I just need time
to to view them years later
wherever I am; under the sun
I will always be curious
wanting to know about life
and see day turn to night

make the dark come alive
feel my books become me, lost
me and others almost identical
a voice that just whispers
this young mind broke away
left behind world of morphed
I was not living in Poe's brain
wanting to solve Mysteries
have my work be Annes Avonlea

it was a discovery
with golden ink in hand
this heart wished to be known
by one true name
I left imprints to scatter
foot steps wearing fuzzy socks
cozy pair of brown boots
how pretty was falls shell
stars are always moving

one may look quite the same
look closely at your map
each piece my North Star
something real I discovered
I walked beside forests
you hear the sounds of life
and ride endless carousels
remember humans made history
traced life of my heart

a heart to learn;10,000 hours
I put fun in seconds
pins;trace unexpected places
hear wonder inspired my gift
poet finding an inner warrior
read deep lines, gospel Groove
one yellow brick road unends
leads to a great wizard
the magic in finding yourself

losing a voice so dear
words on a paper became flat
I had to look back on years
found ways to grow taller
"12:2" put me on owls wings
I define vulnerabl;this idea
my stanzas never perfection
a reflection of how I see people
use my brand of joy every day

my 200th poem now complete
see my signature below
and how it has shaped me
when I learned to spell it
whether you call me Becca
or Rebecca
I give my poems a heartbeat
         

Becca Joy

Summer of 2018

Gods blessing

Written early may

So sweet Becca 💕💕  Zaina

Truly loved the poem! It was beautiful   Fareed
We love this! So genuine and sweet  Fareed


Pic of soon to be parents

Gods  Blessing

family may live all over
coming to visit the capital Region
bringing wind from the city
you will have quite a welcome
and get to know mom's hometown
see how cool her siblings are
live in two worlds of love

love for what New York holds
pieces that mean faith;community
those places that give life
see mommy inside gym;stronger
health becomes great wealth
feel dad's kind nature float
learn his role inside a hospital

hear about a greater role
to surround you with family
family to teach God's blessing
parties that cannot be missed
and creative talents applauded
how God makes us unique
as leader of the 12:2

making people inspired
when Fridays are special
happy to hang out
blessed even more today
Titus shining smile
light up any room
your words;an inspiration

or maybe become awesome
sports may come easy
he could be a creative soul
allow discovery to pour in
those failures will turn joyful
decode failure with fun
see past the exterior walls

get to know deeper lives
wear your hat backwards
live in the present minutes
start each day with a thanks
and end with one too
be the best Jordanian possible
learn to say Amen daily

Becca Joy

Beautiful Star

This was written for my friends birthday, yesterday. Kara you mean so much to me and many others. In honor of her 28th birthday, the poem is 28 lines.

"This is beautiful Becca." Sarah Z.

Kara is the one with the plaid blanket. This was taken last night

on her birthday. 

Beautiful Star

this year God whispered
be wholehearted and vulnerable
find people who are authentic
find people who are blessings
people who are beautiful
a heart full of kindness
a person aiming to be better
helping hand if anxiety lurks
reminds me tomorrow is new

how much hope you've given
you lift me up so sweetly
show me how to be grounded
an explorer of His planet
make the most of my coordinates
see it in new ways with grace
walk away for joy remains
be stronger then start of day
find community under stars

what our nights bring;fire light
dusky shadows of ourselves
the beauty;it never leaves
Gods ultimate shadow loves us
you have His Image
reminds me to paint Jesus daily
and no crown is needed
to live your best life
 inner beauty isn't from looks

this year is bringing us closer

More Amens

written early June
a progression to see how an angel drew me to church. Showing me how to truly live.

Becca! I'm loving your newest poem "More Amens" Keep them coming. :D Rachel

"LOVE THIS POEM!!!! Especially the last versus" Zahrah M. 

More Amens

it is more;so much more
than stained glass windows
crafted by his artists
put on walls;seen through
light filters hazy voice
which one speaks the loudest?
mine explores deep oceans
enemy whispers city chaos
God shouts above all the noise

It is more;so much more
than a familiar seat
sat in most Sundays 11 am
words projected;glanced upon
lyrics evoke broken prayers
which worry rules the morning?
my mind thinks of a future
my enemy persuades all lies
God sits beside a comforter

It is so much more
than a needed sermon
half heard never remember
hollow lesson;stuck rooted
message just floats around
what has my distractions?
a mind focused on to dos
an enemy telling me to leave
God knows you need this hour

it is more
more than what God prescribed
heard by anxious train whistle
done each day;mind numb
update insta with progress
what stops a beautiful date?
my brain scatters each verse
my enemy pushes me from you
God how can I grow closer

It is more;so much more
than blank spaces on bulletins
a study guide to christianity
wrote in;tossed aside
each week one to memorize
why listening,hearing,reading collide
my senses swirl as I cry
my enemy confuses real meaning
God knows what you need

It is so nuch;more
than being sent by an angel
who attented Grace Atmore
helped me to find my own grace
the place I was water baptized
how has it helped me grow?
I have a great community
I am learning to quiet enemy
God gives me weapons to fight

I am not listening to lies
I am journaling my emotions
I am talking out anxieties
I have found mentors
God gave me my girl squad
God thank you for more
Thanks for my angel Louise
praying over me in heaven
to have more amens

The color of pink

I have no idea when I wrote this. I have come a long way since then. I don't quite understand it fully.

The color of pink

I am the pink
that makes the
flowers bloom
the pink sky
when the sunsets
and the feeling of
a cheery mood
the color of
a rabbit hopping
by I am a pink
ribbon tied  to a
present I am
the shoes just
hitting the ground
turning them
pink It's
the color of
butterflies.

More about me: Favorites

Favorite christian singers: Steven Curtis Chapman, Andrew Peterson,Matthew West,Riley Clemmons
Favorite christian groups: Newsboys, Hillsong Worship
Favorite Country group: Rascal Flatts
Favorite Country singers:Kellie Pickler, Carrie, Tim Mcgraw, Keith Urban,
Fav colors:light green and light purple
Fav animals : manatess, chimps, owls
Fav food: depends on my day
Fav ice cream flavors: phish food, caramel, chocolate chip cookie dough or vanilla with sprinkles
Fav movie: Anything with Reese Witherspoon
Fav shows:Gilmore Girls, Mysteries at the museum, Baking championship, Top Chef and Project Runway
Fun fact I love Lauren Graham as well
Fav book characters:Anne Shirley, Anne of Green Gables, Nancy Drew and Babysitters Club
Fav planet:jupiter
Fav star:Polaris
Fav animated character:Eliza Thornberry (played by fav Lacey Chabert)
Fav tea flavors: Peach and bergamot and hibiscus
Fav things to collect: old Avon bottles, Owl things, Postcards
Fav bible books:psalms and proverbs
Fav places:Adirondacks,Vermont,Hudson Valley
Fav artists:Goergia O Keefe and Monet
Fav words:Joy and Beautiful
Fav scent:lake water
Fav happy place:Lake Champlain
Fav design style:vintage rustic
Fav designer:Genevive Gorder

Painted Town

Painted Town

my whole world is one color wheel
tossed casually around blacksmith shop
its how fire can seem destructive
light creates great tools always
your hands our unique eyes
take orange and reds up to sky
a friend who spreads joy
heart of suns waking up
simple acts;agreater happy

my whole world grows colorful
seeds given to gardener rise
how dull blooms in time
it has found patient roots
we spring for long walks alone
that water hears rain win
sunshine allows babies to speak
Monet lives on through flowers
paints a transformation;travels

my whole world is a rainbow
shown once you need refreshment
light rays make you stand still
appreciate Gods hand at work
how the little things matter greatly
a brief moment;beautiful calmness
as if rain left my broken voice
travels up to bring a confidence
I never thought was possible

my whole world starts with sunsets
moons welcoming nights comfort
darkness makes me happy
I can turn off an awful day
make it into an amazing night
where stars pray for me
and the man in the moon sings
the earths lullaby may change tonight
tommorows sunrise walks with me

my whole world spills out words
the tiniest little being speaks
He gave a a voice to soil on our feet
clouds in the sky talk to each other
we hear through weather;blue skies
He gave our car music engines hum
radio pours just what I needed
allowing me to cry happy or sad
your biggest creatures sing

my whole world is generous
my whole world is not perfect
my whole world is mixed up
my whole world is joyful
my whole world runs away
my whole world always comes back
no two days are the same
I will never be anyone but me

Marquee

Marquee

what is this perfect?
a perfect life we live
just a mask we create
an ever changing marquee
words different every second
I could never keep it;
my thoughts hidden on stars
traced among constellations
brighter to dull in moments

did each thought multiply
take on a heartbeat
the beats made of poems
read in Gailielos telescope
brought to life scattered
walked beside gravities shadow
one line from the past
feels a momemt years later
intersection of my prayers

my prayers are strangers
saying the same thing
what I have written;
has evolved into beauty
every word I live more
more tears for joy
my prayers fly today
and ground me higher
with Gods light;loved

messy as it may be
wonderful freedom awaits
but those thoughts slowly morph
the older it got louder
was I way too hard on myself
if perfection was not achieved
or at least how I saw it
that marquee broke me down
a hope calmed,negative

my negative backed by fail
those days where thinking lay
tossed for years of rust
make my mask not of brick
take it off and just look
when lifes not perfect
it becomes the best creation
I have ever wanted it to be
more fun,more neon

this is the imperfections
the mask I no longer put on
the thoughts I am learning to quiet 
positivity to create brightness

written word

reads like a rap

written word

music is the poetry of the mind

  big

       bold

words to grab you

emotions all around, floating in

a blank world without any

  light

         spark

each syllable placed just so 

  look,see,make

I am the music, spit out 

in our own graces

nothing can compare to words

line by line of

          perfection

but only in the readers mind

Humanity

different people, same heartbeat
unites us all as people
never disconnected from neighbor
the continual beating reminds;
us to be compassionate
helpful, have empathy
no judgement;an open heart

to show peace amid a troubled world
we are all unique to ourselves
yet not in emotions
each of us speaks the same words
maybe in a new way
friend;peace
love ;companion

feelings can be seen
felt through ourselves
skip the language,look at faces
faces show more than words
can describe
each smile can bring words closer
be it happy,sad or any other,

we just know
its our human nature
we are humans

Catch Rainbows

Catch Rainbows by Becca Gardiner

Dear niece your world is full of colors
your eyes will see mom and dads hair and know
who your parents are
as your eyes open wide,wonder of nature opening up
the sun warm wonderful music,louder and quieter
softer notes playing each day magically
chords light flowers and trees
how great is the forests skyline
be an explorer of animal homes
feel the waves of Lake Champlain
ride in boat towards Vermont
learning science from dad
why are there waves?
as you stand on Plattsburgh beach

may you grow up to be smart
have that creative side
write beautifully like aunt Becca
sew like mom
love books with your whole heart
books find interests
find a female superhero
spread kindness daily
for people and our planet
have a heart of helping

caring is beauty
you have pretty eyes
you will learn powers
of makeup to transform
removing that layer removes more
a person that smiles
sees everyone equally
being beautiful rocks

look at the world in moments
watch hockey with daddy
bake cupcakes with mommy
garden and see how seeds grow
eat homegrown tomatoes
slow down and catch rainbows
their treasure is all around
you are sweet sprinkles

Paul and Kristen

Paul and Kristen

two hearts ; one home
not one made of gold
rich stories unearthed
letters and words sung
quick lines deep lessons
a grace from patience
the idea not patented
and Sundays doubled

Kristen cooks happiness
thanks for dinner you
and moms giving spirit
special moments stand out
where busy melts away
life is more present
time brings gifts around
someone loved graciously

wise Paul like A.W Tozer
asks deep questions
thoughtfully our lives intersect
"what areas do you need God"
much more comes out
fears,prayers sing louder
left hopeful and renewed
thirst to know God better

each Sunday uses our gifts
amazing talent given names
people diverse ; room lit up
voices bringing pure emotion
speakers personal journeys
wisdom spoken softly
connect beyond churches
listen among stillness

the sun out later
night creates lasting warmth
full stomachs ; full minds
met new person every time
or I know you better
from our first open door
comes a place wonderful
diamonds come from dust

two hearts ; one home
everyone feels at home
love of God flies high
those walls are invisible
the sky echoes worship
and week full of joy
Zalooms known beyond Grace
and Watervliet streets

Twenty Five Graces

written at end of March/early April

As each season changes we really do not seek His graces. There are 25 plus graces that happen in a year. It is not the place in which you are. Naturd greatly reflects the lessons He values. From  houses to greens to rainbows. Hidden gems live.

Twenty Five Graces

for everyone has sundays

and ways to make sunshine

heavy winds turn to seeds

forests grow in hollow caves 

roots harmonize with air

leaves change colors

daylight escapes at dusk

as trees lighten by dawn

the street lights march away

far from hidden sanctuary

in a warm flannel tent

dreams breathe happy flurries

cozy scenes grandly projected

lifes simplest discovery nourished

small reflections greet the day

steps;trails await photographers

behind lens a beautiful person

puts down camera;look

Gods quality brightens up grey

leaves fostered show love

my oasis warms over

chilly breakfasts;magical cathedral 

small chipmunks hear prayer

pretty little corners speak

lake a person easy to talk

homey blanket pulled apart

each square holds gold

threads;waves are flying

maybe to my quaint garden 

a million wildflowers appear

picnics taste so much better

night becomes a great thanks

a year in four acts

Beautiful

March 14-16th This poem is about seeing beauty in a new way. The Jane in the poem refers to Jane Goodall,a women I love for many reasons. She makes life beautiful. This is a throwback to an old poem style I used to do. Use one word and center a poem around it.

Beautiful

BEAUTY to stay humble
a BEAUTY  that is so kind
BEAUTY to compliment
tell someone joyful prayers
I show BEAUTY in small details
designs bring courage abounding
maybe stitches have to stand out
sun dances through open moments
the unexpected brings fullness
a most smart BEAUTIFUL you

a person free to decide things
has one ear in this world
peaceful BEAUTY stays near
who brings chaos back from echos
a BEAUTIFUL God shaping us
spirit found among ordinary
one deer captured happy
perfect by a  crowded ecosystem
stillness never thought possible
the BEAUTY in quiet beehives

sweet honey on a day
from one comes another
inside;walls of BEAUTY lie
cost grows wild daydreams
homes breath true BEAUTIES
coming off pages gracefully
out beyond ocean waves
it roars softly in tune
BEAUTIFUL confidence hears color
splashed through constellations

God sits on pegasus all night
ballet star skies dance away
He gives adventure its own mind
and you Janes awesome bravery
knows how to activate surprises
the worlds littlest joys
as expected turns to light
you see BEAUTY in live tears
you see new through baby eyes
familiar free,rust smoothed
I saw places differently

my grownup telescope shines
pinpoint  a favorite star
it sees difficult here and now
BEAUTY Edisons light falls
we rely on batteries alone
a caffiene stripped experience
He brings a BEAUTIFUL process

truly seeing how pioneers felt
colonists had imagination round
allow Jesus to recharge emptiness

a BEAUTY to be a light
take darkness as pretty
there is no percentage of grace
everything is BEAUTIFULLY alive
my love of Jane taught BEAUTY
a BEAUTY defined by me
a BEAUTY in hearts power
a BEAUTY to stand out
in ways God made me BEAUTIFUL

Misfit Prayers

Written at end of Febuary. The song is covered also by Little Big Town

Misfit Prayers

A prayer a line or two
behind clouds hidden
all that mattered today
was taking that deep breath
perfect was one mind away

happily different every read
day one give a calm purpose
let crisp air wash over

inside this new day
the sun keeps surprising
too quiet noise required
mountains whisper first
silence loses to struggle
day two help bring a way
hear what is a present

maybe He isn't listening
there's too many people
one of God's misfits
all noise does little
waves of sound break up
day three show a big sign
answers lost dreamer

be more in sync
read about people
find main cast to cherish
Mary encourages always
Day  four use your influences
put great humans out front
when one step is heavy

this world is so beautiful
can we see our beauty
taking on more thoughts
pressure to stay freed
day five where is this breakthrough
wrapped in light dust
slow and see his timing
one whisper ahead

He really is active
warm energy source
home in ways comforting
day six all day progress
mighty forces at work
tie loose ends up
find a perfect calmness

a song popped up on Spotify
"when you're praying
give him all your words
he'll give you all you need"
day seven  my broken prayers
have been answered
thank you God from me
I love you with whole heart

All About me: my mission trip Mississippi

I am the one in the yellow in a few pics.  or the one with the wavy hair.

Journal page showing hand draen map of place we stayed

The picture shows upper left a tower. It showed  just how high the water rose. This was near the make shift church. Continue up tbe path to a pantry, bathroom and mobile kitchen. oppposite that was bunks and a pavillion. In the middle of the path were trees,that survived for a long time. They made it through the storms.

The year was 2007 and it had been announced that we would be going down to Mississippi to help with Hurricane Katrina relief. They still needed help rebuilding years later. It was finally time to leave that spring break. It was my first and only round trip on a plane. We got to Bay St. Louis on a Sunday and all I remember thinking in that moment was not so happy. Turns out I was sick that trip, darn plane air. A smart me wrote down what I did and ate every day. It is so cool to look back 10 years later.
     Day 1 we got there around dinner time and I was just taking in my surroundings. The south has beautiful people inside and out. We sat down and had spaghetti and meatballs for dinner. What a comforting treat after a long day. After dinner we headed to church to speak about God. one of the organizations hosts Elizabeth told us everything we needed to know while we were here. As soon as I hit the pillow I knew this trip would be unforgettable.
     okay Monday day 2 started our daily ritual breakfast,church and lunch making. This morning had the chorus of jumping in the house of God. Off to make the little things mean the most. It was not fun in the moment. Hanging 11 blinds in 8 hours did not seem like much. The idea that we accomplished something was special. It was the little house touches that the homeowners werr grateful for. They wanted us to experience the food,so we had red beans and rice for dinner. oh and yummy cornbread 
       Tuesady was day 3 and todays song never left my head. life is good eternal life is better. We headed off to V's property to beautify it. This was the first day we were here. On this day we dug debris out of dirt, pulled out weeds. We definitly earned our fried chicken and mashed potatoe
    Wednesdays anthem was you make everything glorious. We continued work at her house. As a group we put in a garden, walkway and several fences. This day was special because she gave each of us a gift. She did not have much money but was very thoughtful. I still have it to this day. for dinner we had chicken faijitas.
       Thursday was very hot and unbearable. a.ka my sunburned nose. We painted and primed a house for a sweet couple. They wanted to live the rest of there senior years home. I sure loved the chicken fried steak that night. Thursday I got up early to see the sunset. Man was nature gorgeous. I loved this day because I ate Sonic for the first time. A sonic chicken toaster to be exact. Sami and Chris Legarde spoke to us.  Then it was time to go ho e on Friday.

Dragons Footprints

Written beginning of Febuary
Above song inspired it.

Dragons Footprints

God why are your walls so high
almost reaching the clouds
my fire breathing dragon appears
look how does this enemy thrive
all the lies are only charred
written on bricks laid by hand
not one worth hearing today
this hammer quiets a beast
each one falls into positivity

a voice becomes my own
it forged new smiles;saying
I am beautiful everyday
I am more than just looks
I walk with God's word
I am not perfectly human
your walls built by me
seem to grow taller rapidly
glass fragile yet bulletproof

He sees the dragon reawake
yesterdays shadow burned
blocks light placed gracefully
I stand by looking up higher
the glass still won't break
light in weight always loses
feels heavy maybe a ton
her confidence waivers
there it stands through space

flashbacks adorned walls;bones
embed deeply times slowly forgotten
new moments rise to present
reliving them differently
I can correctly spell this word
I can sing only with fun
I will pay viola consistently
I cannot change past actions
my eyes see a new perspective

viewed through grown up ears
the wall layer by layer drops
His beauty on the other side
far away from enemies kingdom
holds all the lies told
all the shakiness of daily life
footprints washed away instantly
I am only seen walking away
darkness of my night brought stars

the sunset flies all over
the dragon is no longer shown
this great adventure breathes
only beginning stronger
the wall was my dragon
masked by pain inside
glorified hourly
praised always
God your walls are lowered

Exhale and Inhale

Electric Chords

January 2018

Electric Chords

how pretty was she
rocking that smile
singing out of tune
to a playlist worn down
held together with comfort
times flashed back perfectly
she's got a country soul
inspect and see kindness
paired with Jesus love

beautiful in dark skies
seeing light peek through
maybe God was near
His kingdom's brought to life

one word journey begins
shows how amazingly grand
little stories told beautifully
of a country so black and white
her voice becomes there echo

flowers crowned our heads
petals break off slowly
cities hear pieces scattered
nearly complete messenger
a bright hearted author
listens closely to ebbs and flows

how colorful the world really is
highlight diverse warriors
uniquely daring to try

try and be someone's pearl
go out shine brilliance
moments artfully drafted

words so deeply rooted
struck with branches growing
this love fueled quietly
caramels and smiles

her intrigue stops time
a core whose silence sings
God so richly well versed
one song broken in kaleidoscopes
displayed on ocean waves
photographed from sand grains
high tide prisms beauty
sea glass emerges victorious

invisible lyrics fly around
a journey in His world
hitting repeat all day long

still through hummingbirds ears
she saw worries melt away
3 minutes and beyond
uplifting runaway train moments
stand in peace among wildflowers
eating a sticky caramel
capturing a real life smile